How to rebuild intimacy in a relationship

Reconnection usually works better as a series of small, mutual changes than as one dramatic romantic gesture.

Start outside the bedroom

Shared attention, affectionate touch, curiosity and protected time together can reduce the pressure that comes from treating sex as the only measure of closeness.

Name what changed

Stress, routine, conflict, schedules and different levels of desire can all affect connection. Talk about the pattern without turning it into a prosecution of either partner.

Rebuild responsiveness

Notice bids for attention, make room for affection and ask what currently helps your partner feel connected.

Next: ways to reconnect or how to talk about intimacy.